even though i'm tired i thought i'd write a bit .. just to keep the ol' brain functioning and to let you know that although i'm a bit tired, i'm doing well !! i think i'm just not getting enough sleep .. i was an 8 hr per night person and i'm getting about 5 hrs now, at best, an hour at a time .. plus i'm recovering from major surgery hehe <-- good excuse to be tired ;-)
i had the pleasure of having dinner with my son AND my daughter on monday evening !! since both their dad and 2nd mom were out of town, my son picked her up after school and brought her over to the house ! i'd just got done preparing fettichini alfredo with leftover lobster tail and snow crab (yummy) and threw in a small salad and garlic bread .. it turned out great if i do say so myself and the kids enjoyed it !!
afterwards, my daughter did the dishes ((big smiles)) she talked to her boyfriend for about an hour (it was wonderful to hear her laugh and made sure and included me in on the conversation) .. then i got her to treat me to a hand and a foot massage and then we just hung out and chatted about all kinds of things .. mostly we just laughed !! around 8:30 my son brought her back to her dads house where he kindly accomodated his momma and spent the night with his little sis (i really wasn't comfortable with her spending the night alone) .. i'm glad he didn't give me a hard time about hanging out with her :)
i got all my stitches out yesterday !!! only removal of 2 of the stitches were uncomfortable, the rest were cake !! in just a few more days i get to take a shower now and not have to worry about getting the stitches wet
my neurosurgeon, Dr Jason, patiently answered all my questions about pain management, the steriods, the laser surgery should the radiation not be successful (turns out Dr Jason's partner invented the procedure known as the "cyberknife") but he explained that was something my radiology oncologist (Dr Raymond) would perform if necessary
i have to confess that his confidence in my quick recovery gave ME some much needed confidence!! its amazing that when someone has that much confidence that its so easy to get caught up in the feelings and want to prove to them that they have every right to have that much confidence in my recovery
oh, new development .. the "fracture" in my rib isn't really a fracture, its quite possibly another tumor (thatnobody but me seems to be worried about) .. i just know that its painful and that they are going to hit it with 10 radiation treatments so hopefully its going to be taken care of soon ::in my best whiny voice:: i want to sleep like a normal person !!!! of course radiation to my rib is going to bring on its own little set of side effects but hopefully the effects will be minimal ::keeping my fingers crossed::
this only being able to sleep for 1 hour at a time, waking up in pain, is for the birds !! hehe
yesterday my son ran to the drug store to stock up on my meds and then ran to the grocery store for me to fill my fridge and cupboards again .. even he is amazed at the amount of food i've been going through hehe
today i have an 11:00 with the in-home nurse and a 12:00 with the in-home speech therapist coming up .. other than that, i don't "need" my son until 3:00 on thursday for my first radation treatment so i "sent" him off to play .. i think its really important that he NOT feel like he's stuck in the house and that he continue to maintain his friendships
my son gives me a hard time every single time i cry but even Dr Jason says its healthier for me to release my emotions .. in a perfect world tears wouldn't be necessary but things have been tough and i told my son that i'm proud of how i'm handling things .. i don't fall apart .. i don't get hysterical .. and i do wonderfully for about 23 hours a day .. there are just times that i get frustrated and overwhelmed and he needs to learn to expect an emotional reaction from me .. perhaps if my son continues with his "no woman no cry" attitude i can have Dr Jason call him and set him straight :)
well, i've got the maintenance man here taking care of a few things around the house and its too distracting to try to write a journal entry so i'm going to get going :)
thanks so much for sharing my head noise with me .. you DO know what a comfort you all are don't ya?!?!?!
i had the pleasure of having dinner with my son AND my daughter on monday evening !! since both their dad and 2nd mom were out of town, my son picked her up after school and brought her over to the house ! i'd just got done preparing fettichini alfredo with leftover lobster tail and snow crab (yummy) and threw in a small salad and garlic bread .. it turned out great if i do say so myself and the kids enjoyed it !!
afterwards, my daughter did the dishes ((big smiles)) she talked to her boyfriend for about an hour (it was wonderful to hear her laugh and made sure and included me in on the conversation) .. then i got her to treat me to a hand and a foot massage and then we just hung out and chatted about all kinds of things .. mostly we just laughed !! around 8:30 my son brought her back to her dads house where he kindly accomodated his momma and spent the night with his little sis (i really wasn't comfortable with her spending the night alone) .. i'm glad he didn't give me a hard time about hanging out with her :)
i got all my stitches out yesterday !!! only removal of 2 of the stitches were uncomfortable, the rest were cake !! in just a few more days i get to take a shower now and not have to worry about getting the stitches wet
my neurosurgeon, Dr Jason, patiently answered all my questions about pain management, the steriods, the laser surgery should the radiation not be successful (turns out Dr Jason's partner invented the procedure known as the "cyberknife") but he explained that was something my radiology oncologist (Dr Raymond) would perform if necessary
i have to confess that his confidence in my quick recovery gave ME some much needed confidence!! its amazing that when someone has that much confidence that its so easy to get caught up in the feelings and want to prove to them that they have every right to have that much confidence in my recovery
oh, new development .. the "fracture" in my rib isn't really a fracture, its quite possibly another tumor (thatnobody but me seems to be worried about) .. i just know that its painful and that they are going to hit it with 10 radiation treatments so hopefully its going to be taken care of soon ::in my best whiny voice:: i want to sleep like a normal person !!!! of course radiation to my rib is going to bring on its own little set of side effects but hopefully the effects will be minimal ::keeping my fingers crossed::
this only being able to sleep for 1 hour at a time, waking up in pain, is for the birds !! hehe
yesterday my son ran to the drug store to stock up on my meds and then ran to the grocery store for me to fill my fridge and cupboards again .. even he is amazed at the amount of food i've been going through hehe
today i have an 11:00 with the in-home nurse and a 12:00 with the in-home speech therapist coming up .. other than that, i don't "need" my son until 3:00 on thursday for my first radation treatment so i "sent" him off to play .. i think its really important that he NOT feel like he's stuck in the house and that he continue to maintain his friendships
my son gives me a hard time every single time i cry but even Dr Jason says its healthier for me to release my emotions .. in a perfect world tears wouldn't be necessary but things have been tough and i told my son that i'm proud of how i'm handling things .. i don't fall apart .. i don't get hysterical .. and i do wonderfully for about 23 hours a day .. there are just times that i get frustrated and overwhelmed and he needs to learn to expect an emotional reaction from me .. perhaps if my son continues with his "no woman no cry" attitude i can have Dr Jason call him and set him straight :)
well, i've got the maintenance man here taking care of a few things around the house and its too distracting to try to write a journal entry so i'm going to get going :)
thanks so much for sharing my head noise with me .. you DO know what a comfort you all are don't ya?!?!?!
20 comments:
i'm glad we are a comfort to you but you know what? you make me feel better about things too. i get misty eyed when you write about your wonderful kids, i have a warm feeling in my heart when i think of you, and i smile when you write little jokes - so you know, i must thank you.
i hope you get some comfy sleep ! xoxo phinney
It sounds like you've had some very nice family time. I'm sure it's wonderful for the three of you to be together.
I agree with the doctor....if you need to cry, let it out. Releasing any stress you can in any way has got to be the way to go. I'm sure with time, your son will understand.
:)
CRYING , SCREAMING, LAUGHING ARE ALL GREAT WAYS TO RELIVE STRESS!!!
bECKY
I'm thankful you are keeping in touch. You're good for all of us.
Yeah, you go pay attention to Pablo, or whatever his name is. Let me guess; he's got six packs on his six pack, and an all over tan, and little beads of sweat standing out on his brows over his steel grey eyes that bore into your soul. (Hey, I could write Harlequin Romances!)
Just wanted to say if you're quoting song lyrics, your brain ain't that far gone. Wanna read a fun book? Fox in Socks by Dr. Seuss. Memorize that and hit your speech therapist with it next week.
"Freezy breeze made these three trees freeze.
Freezy trees made these trees' cheese freeze.
That's what made these three free fleas sneeze."
Maybe not. Week after. See you.
-Paul
if the doctor's don't seem to be worried about a tumor on your ribs then don't you worry about it!
so glad that you got to spend time with your son and daughter! and what a sweet big brother to spend the night with his sister!!!
take care and keep us up to date!
Kathy
Pam it's always special reading your site and keeping up with everything that is going on with you dear. No other site gets first attention when I get on the computer before you. You've become such a special part of all of our lives dear. Well if your "fractured rib" is another tumor, sure the radiation teatments will take care of it for you, sorry you are having pain from this. Wow, you did a great dinner for your son and daughter and know you enjoyed having your daughter over to the house. Your son is so fabulous, love how he is taking care of you. Hang in their Pam, we're here for you always dear. Gentle hugs being sent your way, from me.....AJ
wow
dinner sounded yummy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
dr. jason sounds wonderful too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
No wonder they said tape wouldn't help your broken rib! That meal sounded very good for you and you are so lucky to have such an attentive son :)
xoxo
Bless you, Pam. And especially your children. I 'm glad y'all had a nice evening together. Get some rest.
Traci
Really salivating at the thought of the snow crab and the lobster tails. Here in the UK they are about $30 for a lobster and you can't get snow crab! I bought some Old Bay spice back from the US and have to use it on plain crab which is not the same.
Poppy
I do hope that you got the piece they did in the Washington Post. Sound like your son is like most men....They tend to think if a woman cries they need to fix the problem and when there is no fixing it really drives them crazy.....Hoping he will understand that it is just away for you to release some of your fears and frustrations....Sorry to hear of the other tumor and will continue to pray for you. Hugs. TerryAnn.
Pam, you said, "thanks so much for sharing my head noise with me .. you DO know what a comfort you all are don't ya?!?!?! " As a devoted reader to your journal, I just want to tell you that that you are a comfort to me. You are so courageous and inspirational to be writing your experiences down for all to read. That you are sharing your ordeal with us is amazing. Thank YOU for sharing.
Michelle
I think you comfort us as much as we do you. It is just so good to have you posting again!
http://journals.aol.com/astaryth/AdventuresofanEclecticMind
http://adventuresofaneclecticmind.blogspot.com/
stay strong Pam :)
Deb
YOU are the one who brings comfort to me....your courage and cander has been a blessing in my life, as has having you for a friend.
I hope they can take care of your rib pain for you, you deserve some painfree hours of sleep. I think your son is convincing himself that if you don't cry, that means everything is okay with you again....it's a defense mechanism for his heart.
It must be so hard on all of you.....I pray for you daily.
The stitches are out now though and that's just the start of good things to come for Pamela......I feel it way down to my toes! :)
All My Hope & Prayers.......
Pooh Hugs,
Linda~
Good Morning, Pam :-)
I am just so happy to see you back journaling so frequently... Just wanted to say good morning, and I hope you have a great day :-)
Love Nancy
Pam, we are all good therapy for each other , glad you had a nice day and yes we do need to let the emotions out. xx
Wow!
You're just chock full of info.
My very close friend who is only 43, mother of 3 girls, ages 5,7, & 9, had the "cyberknife" procedure done on her pancreas about 2? months ago. She is still going thru chemo and some other treatments. They say it's still a little early to be able to tell if the tumor was reduced but they should be doing a pet? scan in the next couple of weeks.
I just wish she had your amazing strength and will to live. That means so much.
Prayers n love-
Niki
Thanks for all the updates. It sounds as though you are doing well. Glad to hear it. I understand what you are saying about your son giving you the business about your tears. For some reason, men seem to have a tough time with the issue of crying. I guess they don't understand how therapeutic it is for us women. I think they associate it only with pain, and not with release. It took lots of explaining before my husband finally understood that. By the way, a counselor once told me that if we cried once a day, we would be much healthier, emotionally. I tend to agree with him. Hey, why not ? !
Take care, Pam..... I continue to keep you in my most Positive thoughts and prayers. Tina
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