i'm back hehe

not that i actually "went" anywhere mind you .. except back and forth to radiation .. i've completed my 17th radiation treatment (of 33 scheduled treatments) as of today .. and of course chemotherapy .. i just finished my 3rd on friday (out of 6 scheduled)

now, the reason i've been hiding is because of the tests yesterday .. my third brain scan and my 3rd CT scan of my neck and chest .. to see if the treatments are making any progress on the tumor and my lymph nodes and also to check and try to confirm the brain cancer .. the question mark in my brain, which started out on the right side; moved to the left side; has now moved back over to the right side .. not exactly behavior that allows them to confirm anything (that would be NOT bad news) .. we've always kinda known from the get-go that i have a very stubborn tumor .. so that wasn't really any surprise to me that it hasn't changed .. but it hasn't gotten bigger

they're changing my combination of pain killers again .. the last combo worked really good since i was in the hospital on the 6th and i've actually been able to get rid of the pain in my esophagus enough to gain weight .. but the last 2 days i've been feeling that stinging pain in my chest and neck again so the doc is switching up meds to see if any other combo works better .. i'm on double the morphine patches and double the liquid vicodin .. if this doesn't work, he's eliminating the patches and vicodin and putting me on liquid morphine .. anything is ok with me as long as i can eat and drink :)

my son came home from college in hawaii last night .. i had to wait up till 12:30 this morning and when i finally laid eyes on him i felt like my heart was going to jump out of my chest .. he looks like a 20 year old hawaiian hippy lol .. a cute one at that :)  right now he's sleeping in his sisters room .. from what i understand they had a going away party for him and he partied it up pretty good before he came out here .. i imagine its going to take a few days for it to wear off .. poor baby lol

my friend Rover has disappeared .. he took off to go pick up a "check" and we haven't seen him since .. his friend, Julie, that he had left here to stay with me went out looking for him, but they ended up arguing and not knowing what to do, she came back here to stay .. no matter which way i look at this, our mutual friend has basically abandoned her at my house .. assuming i suppose that i'd take care of her .. word dude .. i've got enough on my plate and i don't appreciate you treating me like this .. i can't believe i was so excited about seeing my long lost friend .. guess he lost more along the way than i ever imagined

i'm not sure whats going to happen, but i do know i don't have the heart to kick anyone out on the street .. especially not during the winter .. especially not at christmas .. mostly i'm just disappointed over how Rover treated 2 of his "friends" .. bad bad dog

i have some pictures to show y'all of the hats that Rhonda had Dee crochet for me .. they are absolutely beautiful and i've already given one away to another lady who had lost all her hair because of chemo .. thank you both for being a part of something that makes other people smile :)

i'll make sure and post pics of these beautiful chemo caps as soon as i'm strong enough

on that note ~ i think its time for me to lay down and relax for a bit .. i hope y'all are enjoying the wonderful winter weather we're having !!!