i have a feeling when my niece writes me an email reminding me i haven't updated my journal in a few days, its time to get writing eh !
~waving to my niece, Amy Janelle~
its been a busy few days and its looking like its going to get busier, so this is going to be a short entry, just to let y'all know how i'm doing :)
my teenage daughter actually did most of the cooking Thanksgiving Day .. i was flattered by her offer to come over and cook dinner for us, i was just a little unsure if she had any idea how much work she had agreed to lol
my sisters Susie and Charlene, my big brother Jimmy, and my 2 nieces Jenny and Sue-Sue all joined us for Thanksgiving Dinner .. i hope next year i'm well enough to be able to invite the entire family
i am feeling the effects from the chemo since thursday afternoon .. the digestion problems are probably the ONE side effect that hit me harder than any of the rest .. and of course, its the one side effect they have no pill for .. the best i can do is a pain pill for the cramps and a sleeping pill so i can sleep through the worst of it ..
yesterday it turned out to be a wonderfully warm day .. i took my little bald head out to the back yard where i just sat and cried wishing i wasn't in so much pain .. and when the cramps would ease up, i'd raise my face to the sun and enjoy every drop of sunshine .. i wasn't expecting my daughter to find me .. i figured she was glued to MTV for awhile .. she tried to get me to come back inside and get into bed .. i finally convinced her to stay outside with me and enjoy the sunshine between my tears :)
my daughter and i played monopoly wednesday night .. we took tons of pictures with the digital camera while we danced around and completely made fools out of ourselves (in the privacy of our own home of course) which i'll gladly share in my journal with complete strangers and my best journaling buddys just as soon as i find time to edit them :)
i got a phone call from my son who is colleging in hawaii .. his momma must have raised him good if he remembers to call all her on the holidays eh ?!? hehe .. i can't wait for him to come home next month
last night my daughter called her dad for him to come pick her up to go back home at 5 pm .. she hadn't said a word to me about when she was going home, i just noticed little things of hers weren't strewn about the house .. "are you going to cry mom?".. "no i'm not" .. "are you lying mom?" .. "yes i am" ..
i've only had 3 radiation treatments so far .. for a grand total of about 60 seconds of radiation .. i wasn't expecting to actually feel any benefits so quickly .. i can take deeper breaths without it catching or causing pain in the middle of my chest .. the coughing is a lot less and i'm hardly coughing up any blood anymore (sorry to ick you guys out) .. i'm thinking since i feel so much better, this would be a good time to stop the chemo and rad's before i get really sick .. right? lol .. i mean if i can feel the effects of the radiation killing off cells this quickly, i can only imagine what its going to feel like after 27 more treatments
and my daughters 15th birthday is Thursday .. my baby is growing up :( i'm not quite sure what she has planned so i've already given her birthday gifts to her .. i am hoping i feel well enough on Thursday to drive by her dads house and give her a card and flowers or something ..
on that note, i have a ton of office work to finish up .. and i'm hoping the sun will be shining again today so i can get a little sun on my head :)
i hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday !!!!
24 comments:
I'm sorry your feeling the effects of the chemo, especially now that you aren't even getting it anymore. I remember those days well... but, they too shall pass, Pam..
That really is a good thing that you are feeling the positive effects of the radiation on the tumor!! That is such encouraging news!
I'm glad you had a good time with your family and daughter on Thanksgiving. Bless her heart for trying to cook that day. Heck, fixing a big dinner for alot of people is hard enough when you KNOW what you're doing, much less when you don't! lol
You remain in my prayers...as always..
Jackie
Pam, it is good to hear from you hope that you get to feeling alittle better soon. I was glad to see that you posted. Thought about sending you an e-mail but was sure that you were getting a million already. Your J-land friend. Terry Ann.
So sorry about the pain, so glad about the sunshine and the lovely daughter.
Keep feelin` those cells dyin` !
{{{ Love & Prayers }}}
http://deabvt.blogspot.com/
V
Thank you for the update. I was thinking of you just yesterday. You are in my prayers. Blessings, Penny http://journals.aol.com/firestormkids04/FromHeretoThere
Deeper breaths. Less coughing. Less blood.
That's all great news!
Glad you were able to enjoy Thanksgiving with family.
And especially your daughter.
I hope the stomach pains come to an end.
Huggs n prayers-
Niki
I'm glad you are feeling some better! You really know how to liven up a Monopoly game! Sounds like fun! :) Get out in that pretty sunshine and enjoy it as much as you can. You are in my prayers. Take care.
Angel Girl...
I'm so glad you are feeling benefits. I suppose that may be worth the pain but I know that is hard to think about when you are in the pain. Just dealing with my little ol' foot in comparision (so not much of a comparison) it is hard to think it is fixed so it will hurt for a while until it is strong. I'm glad you had a good Thanksgiving with people around! Enjoy that sunshine for all of us in the cold! :-) 53 here now & man was it ever windy Wed night! 30s later this week & some snow. They are saying T-storms tonight too. Crazy weather this season! My folks called on Thanksgiving to say it is 80 degrees at the winter home in AZ! UGH!!! Thank you very much for rubbing it in! HA! Although I'm happy for them....just wish I was there. Just take it 1 day at a time & we'll be here for you!
Ah what a sweet daughter you have (like I'm surprised!)
Deeper breaths is good, less blood very good! I am so happy to hear that the radiation is maybe doing what the chemo hasn't. I hope they continue making you feel better and better and by Christmas time you will be feeling so much better. That is all I want for Christmas this year.
Take good care & much love,
Leslie
http://journals.aol.com/lesliehydeart/thislandismyland
So good to 'hear' from you! I'm sorry that the pain and side effects of the Radiation are hitting you... BUT, how cool that you can already tell a difference from just a few treatments. Take care of yourself... And give the birthday girl lots of hugs!
http://journals.aol.com/astaryth/AdventuresofanEclecticMind
http://adventuresofaneclecticmind.blogspot.com/
Pam i hope your pain eases soon....
You are always in my thoughts and prayers...
So glad you and your daughter had a happy thanksgiving...
and your son was able to call you...that means alot!
Hugss...~Terri~
I say enjoy the sunshine while it is there. Glad you had a great holiday. Forever in my prayers and thoughts Pam. Hugs, Barbara
aww...Pam...still praying here!!!
Becky
We are still with you friend.
Sorry about the cramping and digestive issues. That must suck. But the fact that you are feeling GOOD effects from the treatment, as well, must make it at least a teensy bit more bearable. There IS good news in here... Lisa :-]
I'm sorry you are feeling such bad side effects from the treatments, Pam, I hope they will all leave you soon....along with that demon Cancer. But I'm so glad that God provided you a little sunshine to dry your tears.......the warmth must have felt so good. I did hear something positive in the middle of all of that pain however...you said " I hope next year I'm well enough". The fact that you can see yourself next year means that hope is still alive and well. We can do anything if we have faith and hope, and you can do it and will.....you are going to triumph over this disease!!. Thank you for bringing such courage into my life.
All My Hopes & Prayers.....
Pooh Hugs,
Linda~
Pam was wondering how your holiday was going and how you were feeling. Glad you enjoyed Thanksgiving with your daughter and family and that your son called to say he's thinking of you. Sorry the side effects have you a bit down, but knowing you, you'll bounch back before you know it. If anyone has the detrmination it is you dear. Take care..........AJ
Good to hear you had a good Thanksgiving :). Hey, not all of us can get sunburns on top of our heads - for one thing, we have snow here.
xoxo
Pam...I'm so sorry you are so sick from the radiation. But, overall, it sounds as if you had a wonderful holiday with your family. You are such a strong lady. I admire you so much. Thanks for updating us. I was wondering how your holiday went. Can't wait to see the pics of you and your daughter!
Pamela
Happy Belated Thanksgiving! It's wonderful that your daughter was able to good the majority of the meal, that's really awesome!
How wonderful that you can feel the radiation actually HELPING, and knowing you still have 27 to go, hold onto this feeling when it's maybe effecting you so negatively.
You remain in my prayers.
God Bless
Christy http://journals.aol.com/my3gifts/ChristysThoughts/
Oh Pamela, I could just feel the sunshine on my face, reading this. And we haven't seen sun in days.
Hope you're feeling stronger every day. I think about you often.
~~ jennifer
I am so glad that you are already having some positive signs from the radiation. It is so powerful and it's so strange that you can't hear it,see it etc. I did think that the radiation dept. had an odd smell but they insisted that it was my imagination. Glad you had such a nice time with your daughter. :) Hugs, Nelle
I love you alot, your so beautiful. I can't wait to see you again! I miss your very funny humor! I wish I had a car to come and see you! Just need to save some money!
I LOVE YOU BUNCHES!!!! XOXOXOXOXO
Love Always, Amy Janelle
I'm so glad that you are feeling the good effects of the radiation already. I think that's a good sign! The memories that we make while making fools of ourselves are the special ones that last a lifetime. Huggs! Lisa
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