Sunday, November 20, 2005

Day 150

My Quit
My Stats:
Your Quit Date is:  6/24/2005 6:30:00 PM Time 
Smoke-Free:
148 days, 15 hours, 1 minute and 49 seconds
Cigarettes NOT smoked: 2973
Lifetime Saved 22 days, 17 hours
Money Saved: $521.50

pardon my showing off just a bit .. 149 days of being a nonsmoker .. it seems like a lifetime

these stats are from www . quitnet . com .. they really helped me during the hardest first few weeks when i quit smoking, but even now i can't wait to see my current stats .. especially how much lifetime i've saved by not smoking

i'm seeing more and more people who really do want to quit smoking .. i see that as more lives being saved .. a few weeks ago there was a brief discussion in one journal (forgive me for forgetting which one lol) about how outraged one journaler was when a city decided to ban outdoor smoking at public places .. a few months ago i would have stood on her soapbox, right along with her, in an attempt to voice my displeasure with the government telling people what they have the right to do in public

i have such a different perspective now .. why do people think they have the RIGHT to smoke in public?  with all the proof on the damages of second hand smoke, why would any reasonable smoker want to risk hurting another person with their own bad habit?  with all the proof that smoking kills .. how can anybody feel proud about killing themselves, let alone in public?

i can remember when it was COOL to smoke .. we had cigarette ads everywhere .. we had the marlboro man .. plus a handful of other cigarette icons .. smoking was glorified in the movies and on TV .. everybody smoked and it was acceptable .. slowly my daughters generation is realizing how dangerous and NOT cool smoking is .. one of the T-shirts being sold now is a cigarette with the circle and slash through it and beneath says "there are much cooler ways to kill yourself"

on top of all this, i was watching a show a few days ago .. about problems with littering in public places .. i had NO idea that almost 30% of littering is done by cigarette smokers .. tsk tsk tsk

just because you are killing yourself, doesn't give smokers the right to be rude too eh !!!

being a person who is a beginner nonsmoker, i'll be the first to admit that having to walk through a group of people standing on the sidewalk, smoking, really IS difficult for me to do .. i guess i'm just getting to the place where i'm starting to resent having to breathe other peoples cigarette smoke ::shrugging::

i'm all for banning smoking in public places .. lets stop exposing our children to cigarettes .. stop smoking in public for the children .. our children .. and keep our fingers crossed that they remain smarter and wiser than my own generation

::stepping off my soapbox::  sorry, i just had to get that out of my system :)

i've realized that the last week have been a transition period for me .. in changing from the massive chemo treatment to the radiation and chemo treatment really has been a transition period

i don't know any of the people .. the employees, the patients .. i don't know anything about the procedures, the side effects .. i'm having to learn so many new things .. i have always taken comfort in routines .. i kinda get shaken up when somebody screws with my routines :)

what is shaking me up the most are the change i'm noticing in the patients .. up on the second floor, in oncology .. we all sat around dressed in street clothes .. some of the females donning various head covers, hats, caps, wigs .. our faces a little drawn and tired but mostly in good spirits .. except for the fact that we were all hooked up to IV's, a pretty normal looking group

downstairs in the radiation oncology waiting room, we are actually a pretty sorry looking group of patients sitting around in hospital gowns that don't come close to fitting us .. each and every patient i've met so far has an exhausted look on their face .. walking slower, needing assistance in standing up .. some still smile, some still laugh .. but they're different .. tired .. one female patient decided to drop her gown and show me her scars from her double mastectomy and the results of radiation .. her raw red skin that was peeling off in chunks .. i'm not sure why she thought i wanted to see her scars .. i didn't .. like i wasn't scared enough

anyway .. i've got piles and piles of budgets to get working on for the office .. not like i'm in ANY frame of mind to be concentrating on details like this but i kinda don't have an option .. i hope the rest of y'all enjoy what is left of your weekend :)

22 comments:

Anonymous said...

Have a good sunday and stay strong:)

Deb

Anonymous said...

I made it to the new journal!  Alerts back on!

I'm sorry you are going through all this.  I wish there was anything I could do to alleviate your worries.  

Have a good day and many hugs and good vibes your way!

Leslie

Anonymous said...

Kudos, Kudos, Kudos on your quit stats!  Our city recently went smoke-free -- I'm not a smoker, so I was glad about it.  I appreciate your comments and perspective.  Hang in there!
Lori

Anonymous said...

Didn't know you'd moved Pam but I put you on my alerts again. I can't keep up with all the moving going on lately, I had my alerts switched off for a few days and everyone seems to have upped sticks and gone!! Jeannette. http://journals.aol.co.uk/jlocorriere05/Welcometomytravels/

Anonymous said...

You go! You Non Smoker You! It gets easier and easier from here out!

Carolyn
http://journals.aol.com/shelt28/MyLife

Anonymous said...

Hey Pamela:)

Thanx for making sure your fans um I mean readers can find you by linking your journal entries.

There are so many journals that I cannot find now that a lot of people have moved. :(

Anyway...
Congrats on the 148 days Smoke-Free.
That's awesome. You've done good;0)

You will adapt to the radiation scene in no time.
You will establish a routine and get to know the techs and other patients.
You will do fine and you will get thu this.

Don't under estimate yourself. Please!

I wish everyone shared your thoughts on smoking and 2nd hand smoke.
Maybe in time.

Have a nice day and be nice to yourself;-)

Huggs2u-
Niki

Anonymous said...

my heart goes out to you during this dificult time.  I wish you could feel us all there for you and draw a feeling of being safe and healing. next time you go post the time so we can all be praying and thinking of you.  Terry Ann ((((Hugs))))
http:journals.aol.com/thegirlnexdoor77/GoingCrazy/

Anonymous said...

Pam.....congrats on your non-smoking status!  You are such a stong person.  I think of you all the time.  I look forward to each entry in your journal.  If I don't get to read anything from you it feels kind of like an empty day.  You are sharing so much of your life.  You are to be commended.  How brave of you to put your pics on here!  By the way....you got some nice KNOCKERS!!! I love it when you feel good and your humor comes thru.  I can't believe how strong you are.  That, my dear, is what will get you through this ordeal!  Much love to you...Pamela

Anonymous said...

Pam, you are doing so great with stay8ing away from t he cigarettes!!!!
For those smokers who are outraged att he gov't not wanting them to smoke in public outside...just to let you know htat my asthamic DD has problems even woaking by people who are outside smoking.  I do not believe you have the right to cause her to have an asthma attack..  And if you think she should go to the other side of the street, it is kinda hard when the ER she is trying to get to is right by the place the smokers are standing.
Becky

Anonymous said...

Congrats on going so long without a smoke!  And look at all that money saved!

It is bad enough to have to go through radiation, but without a gown that fits?  Looks like they could give the patients a little more dignity.

The woman with the double mastectomy?  I saw a woman on tv once that after she was all healed up she had this huge tattoo put on her chest.  She said it made her feel better somehow.

Kathy

Anonymous said...

I wish smokers did not stand right in the entrance doors to buildings to smoke. I can't get in and out of a building unless I hold my breath, and then my hair and clothes stink the rest of the day. How hard can it be for them to move over a bit? I just don't like it, but for people with asthma or other breathing issues, it is a serious risk for them.

So proud of you for quitting!!

xoxo

Anonymous said...

Congrats on staying smoke free.  I've never been a smoker, and I'm very bothered by those who smoke in public.  We're not a smoke free community, and it's joke sometimes being put in the "non smoking" section.  Is there really such a thing when ANYONE nearby is smoking?

Anyway....I'm glad you've pushed your soapbox over to our side of the street.

:)

Kat

Anonymous said...

hi girlfriend -

remember when you didn't think you'd get through the chemo?

yah.

well, this too will fade.

of course, you'll be weak - they're microwaving you while you're still tender from the marinade...

today, I wish for you big bowels of chicken soup for strength.

oh, and the Queen is now a tavern keeper - of succulent wisdoms, that is -

stop in for a beer.

http://theblogburbiatavern.blogspot.com/

Anonymous said...

Have I told you how much I admire you? Well, if I haven't , I am telling you now. You are one strong lady...I only hope if I am ever faced with what you are now , that I can be just half as brave as you are. You hang in there sweetheart, and I'll be on the sidelines praying for your complete recovery.
love ya,
carlene

Anonymous said...

My pet peeve about smokers are the ones holding their babies or small children and practically blowing smoke in their faces.
Keep fighting.  Good luck working.
Traci

Anonymous said...

Hi Pam!  :-)  The transition from chemo to radiation is a BIG thing.  It's a life change for you, in what is your life at the moment.  And I know you are living moment to moment.  I am saying prayers for you all the time, and think of you constantly.  I can't believe someone dropped their gown to show you scars.  How insensitive.  Maybe someone had done that to them at one point.  Who knows.  And don't worry about being on the table for radiation and showing your chest - just think - you HAVE breasts!  Hang in there sweetie!!!!  Love ya, Laurie

Anonymous said...

Hello Pamela,
I have been worrying for 2 days now that you might "disappear" from my sight with your journal in tow but - thank God - I see that you told us where you were going - so here I am hoping that I have marked the Alert Button right! I have been known to 'think' I have done something technically right only to find out about some  oops  I've done!
 So glad you've been able to quit smoking. I used to drive the Marboro Man (my neighbors husband) to his chemo treatments. Great strapping 6'5" ex football player. If only they could use his picture in the ad for the teenagers to see! If they could just be honest and real. But then again where's the dinero in that??
  When my daughter (36 yrs old) had her radiation she did really well during the treatments - 6 weeks worth.  But then the tiredness came on pretty strong for awhile.  I can't remember exactly how long it lasted- this was yr before last.
 By the way, she took her lump to the doctor 3 yrs prior and was told no problem. Then one day she told me "Mom - something is just not right" - listen to your inner self especially you young ladies. It turned out to be DCIS w/microinvasion.  I'm sure the w/micoinvasion happened because of the delay in diagnosis.  
  Pamela, I am drawn to you by your honesty and openness. You are a very wonderful lady.  I'm praying for your strength and your health  - and for your sweet daughter!!  Have a wonderful Thanksgiving,  Sandy

Anonymous said...

I love when you "SHOW OFF" your stats of quiting! I love seeing how wonderful you have done! GREAT JOB!
I know this has to be a HARD time for you ... I hope that it all gets better for you soon!

Theresa

Anonymous said...

Congratulations on your 148 days of smoke-free living.  I'm proud of you.  Heck, I think we all are.  It's a big accomplishment..and one you should be darn proud of!!!  

I used to smoke.   Once I found out I was pregnant with Parker, I quit.  Now, I literally cannot stand the smell of smoke...it makes me cough and choke.  I say NO SMOKING ANYWHERE!  ;P

Wishful thinking, yes?  <grin>

XO,
bridgett

Anonymous said...

We are all proud of you and we are all still here!

Anonymous said...

148 days....what and awesome feeling that must be for you! Hey, the change in your routine is a HUGE deal....you have every right to feel the way you are. You're in my thoughts every day and I will pray for extra strength to help you through this transition period....I'm here routing for you Pam!

All My Hopes & Prayers.....

Pooh  Hugs,
Linda~

Anonymous said...

You are in my  prayers of course! :) *hugs* Mel